


New Warriors, New Chat

by Marsbarss



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, New Warriors
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Because screw you marvel, Eventual Relationships, New Warriors as family, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Robbie is an idiot but we love him anyway, Stress Baking, Team as Family, Vance stress bakes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-02-28 12:32:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18756514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marsbarss/pseuds/Marsbarss
Summary: Vance makes a group chat for the original New Warriors! Oh boy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. I needed something light to do while I try to find the motivation to continue a bunch of other things so....this exists now. I love these guys. Enjoy. Comments are appreciated! I'd love to hear what you guy's think or any suggestions you have. <3
> 
>  
> 
> Username Key:
> 
> Vance: Astroboy  
> Robbie: marvellous  
> Dwayne: Taylor  
> Richard: optimusprime  
> Namorita: Fish_are_Friends  
> Angelica: acuteangle  
> Sillouette: breakaleg  
> Elvin: ElvinusedRage  
> Mickey: turbine
> 
> [Title is a work in progress and may change]

[Astroboy has created a chat]  
[Astroboy has changed the chat name to ‘Old Warriors!’]  
[Astroboy has added marvellous, Taylor, optimusprime, Fish_are_Friends, and acuteangle to the chat]

 

Taylor: What’s this 

Astroboy: a groupchat 

Fish_are_Friends: we can see that, supertights. 

Astroboy: So we can talk. Yknow. Outside of...things. Now. that we’re here. 

acuteangle: ooh great idea Vance.

marvellous: ooooOOOooooooOOo

Taylor: Put those oo’s away, Speedball 

marellous: singular. It was only 1 oo

marvellous: cmon thrash why so serious all the time i mean ur gonna giver urself like, an ulcer or somethin

marvellous: ur almost as anal as supertights 

Taylor: That is an awful way to phrase that

Fish_are_Friends: agreed

marvellous: whhaaat????

marvellous: whats wrong with anal 

optimusprime: …...pfft

optimusprime: oh man robbie thats the gayest fucking sentence yet 

Fish_are_Friends: thanks btw, Vance, a new way to listen to Robbie’s bullshit.

Astroboy: what have I done?

acuteangle: there there

=======

[acuteangle added breakaleg to ‘Old Warriors!’]

marvellous: holy shit sil that username is awful

breakaleg: :D

optimusprime: SIL! Helloooooooo

breakaleg: hi richie

breakaleg: so what have you idiots been up to without me?

marvellous: the usual. Saving the world. Eating cupcakes.

breakaleg: cupcakes?

optimusprime: oh my god sil theyre so good vance made them

optimusprime: there’s caramel

acuteangle: it could be poisoned but you’d still take it and call it amazing if it was from vance.

optimusprime: guilty as charged.

breakaleg: im coming now to steal all of the cupcakes

marvellous: you can take these cupcakes out of my cold dead hands, Sil.

breakaleg: Is that a challenge, Speedball?

optimusprime: ur a dead man, robbie,

optimusprime: never get between a woman and snacks 

[breakaleg is offline]

marvellous: hhansfdisaUAGJJIIIISKDMLKSMD

[marvellous is offline]

acuteangle: rip Speedball he will be missed 

optimusprime: eh 

optimusprime: he had it coming.

=======

marvellous: IM ALIVE

Taylor: ...yay.

marvellous: :(  
marvellous: i dont like ur tone

Taylor: Too bad.

Marvellous: :(

Taylor: :)

=======

Fish_are_Friends: Image Attached: sleepingthrasher.jpg

acuteangle: :0

optimusprime: 

marvellous: awh cute 

marvellous: in a Dwayne sorta way

Astroboy: He almost looks nice 

Fish_are_Friends: he’s gonna kill me for taking that pic but its so worth it 

marvellous: hell yeah

=======

optimusprime: question.

Astroboy: Yes?

optimusprime: why is the chat name ‘old warriors’ ???

Astroboy: we’re old now, rich

Astroboy: also the official chat is already named New Warriors and this chat is just us 

optimusprime: im like 20 fuck u

Astroboy: you wish. Are those grey hairs? 

optimusprime: im hurt. my grey hairs are off limits, supertights.

Astroboy: Nothing’s off limits, dick rider.

Taylor: Stop being horny in the group chat you’re almost as bad as Speedball.

Astroboy: what.

optimusprime: 

acuteangle: pfft

Astroboy: what??

[Taylor is offline]

=======

[Taylor added Fish_are_Friends, acuteangle, ElvinusedRage, and turbine to ‘Without the Idiots’]

Taylor: I cannot stand another moment of the looks Richard and Vance keep giving each other.

acuteangle: ahh Vance, forever absolutely fucking hopeless.

acuteangle: he’s lucky he’s so cute. 

turbine: oh my god yeah I went on a mission with them the other day it was so bad

turbine: does Vance know Rich is super into him???

Fish_are_Friends: Is Vance ever aware of anything going on around him though that doesn’t involve social justice or baking?

ElvinusedRage: true

turbine: man makes a killer cinnamon bread 

acuteangle: why am i seriously the only one he hasn’t baked for yet

Taylor: He’s too busy being neurotic and trying to decide what to bake you that he never actually makes anything

Taylor: Anyway. The topic on hand.

ElvinusedRage: hasn’t rich always looked at vance like that though

turbine: oh yeah, the man is not subtle. Never has been.

Fish_are_Friends: you can say that again.

acuteangle: if he breaks Vance’s heart ill break his spine.

Taylor: If they don’t do something soon and stop this pining shit I’m liable to break both of them. 

turbine: fair.

ElvinusedRage: Rich’ll probably ask Vance out by the end of the week. 

Fish_are_Friends: is Vance even bi 

acuteangle: dont say anything to him he doesn’t know yet. 

Taylor: The man had the biggest crush on Spiderman I’ve ever seen what do you mean ‘he doesnt know yet’?

acuteangle: his mind is a weird little thing. I don’t question it. Not my job anymore. 

Taylor: Fair enough. 

Fish_are_Friends: if things go well that’ll be Rich’s job. 

turbine: lucky him. 

=======

optimusprime: I have another question

Astroboy: Yes?

optimusprime: whats with all of the bread 

marvellous: vance has taken up stress baking

optimusprime: Oooh okay now all of the cupcakes make sense 

optimusprime: whats got ya stressed supertights??

Astroboy: have you ever lived with robbie 

marvellous: HEY

optimusprime: good point carry on this bread is delicious

=======


	2. Chapter 2

Fish_are_Friends: So. 

marvellous: so??

Fish_are_Friends: This mountain teleports? 

marvellous: ya pretty nifty right. Totally awesome base. 

Fish_are_Friends: Its definitely a step up form the crash pad

optimusprime: the crash pad was a classic.

Fish_are_Friends: A classic dump. 

optimusprimce: okay but does this mountain have a hot tub?

marvellous: …………….okay point made. 

Fish_are_Friends: ...It was the best purchase you ever made. 

optimusprimce: I keep telling you people that im a real genius

marvellous: how could we have been so blind

Fish_are_Friends: truly 

optimusprime: ya dont gotta be so mean about it. 

Fish_are_Friends: Me, mean? Never.

Fish_are_Friends: i am a delight, Rider.

optimusprime: a delight huh.

Fish_are_Friends: you heard me, trash panda

optimusprime: wait why am i a trash panda

Fish_are_Frieds: your aesthetic. 

marvellous: its a classic aesthetic 

optimusprime: okay whatever im proud stg

marvellous: trash panda pride? Just in time for pride month?

optimusprime: ...yess

optimusprime: get me a rabies pride flag thats all i need 

marvellous: oh my god

=======

[marvellous has added breakaleg, optimusprime, Fish_are_Friends, Taylor, turbine, ElvinusedRage, and acuteangle to ‘New(er) New Warriors’]

optimusprime: about time

turbine: this chat is ours now >:) 

Samwithaplan: ew more old people 

optimusprime: what was that punk 

Samwithaplan: :)

turbine: oooh its mini nova. I heard u hit robbie with a crowbar. Good job.

marvellous: hey!! >:(

Samwithaplan: ye

turbine: ur cool in my books

marvellous: mickey i thought we were friends :(((

turbine: u know that one scene in hetalia where bulgaria is smacking italy with a stick?

Samwithaplan: cursed. No. stop. 

turbine: ur italy, robbie.

marvellous: so what im hearing is u watch hetalia u nerd

turbine: i only know it cuz of you, toothpick

Samwithaplan: I’d like to quit the team k thanks.

optimusprime: ditto^^

marvellous: sam, rich, noooooo

======

[Chat: New(er) New Warriors]  
[Astroboy is online]

marvellous: HAPPY BIRHTDAY VANCE

Hummingbird!: HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYomgyoureold

Haechi: Wait it’s vance’s birthday?

Sunnyskies: o shit is it

ScarletSpider: oh

Astroboy: thankss

Astroboy: robbie whatever you have planned, dont.

optimusprime: welcome to being thirty how does it feel

Astroboy: depressing 

optimusprime: u get used to it

acuteangle: is everything okay vance??

 

Astroboy: just peachy 

Astroboy: I gtg to work, I’ll be on later.

[Astroboy is offline]

ScarletSpider: the hell was that about?

Hummingbird!: :( Does this mean no to the exploding cake and fireworks?

marvellous: ill cancel the cake but were doin fireworks 

Hummingbird!: :DDDDDD

ScarletSpider: no one let either of them near the fireworks

======

[Private Message: optimusprime > Astroboy]

optimusprime: Hey how about lunch, help you get your mind off of whatever’s going on?

Astroboy: sure, yeah that sounds nice. 

optimusprime: awesome. I’ll swing by and pick you up once you go on break :)

Astroboy: :’)

======

[Chat: Old Warriors]

marvellous: i think vance just needs to get laid tbh 

marvellous: when he gets laid u can always tell cuz he gets all floaty, like cannot touch the ground floaty, and soft and super nice

acuteangle: i wouldnt know :/

marvellous: oh yeah rip

Fish_are_Friends: wait you and vance never???

acuteangle: nope

Fish_are_Friends: f

Taylor: f 

optimusprime: f

marvellous: f

breakaleg: f

optimuprime: we could buy him a stripper

Fish_are_Friends: Didnt you already try that once 

optimusprime: YEAH the hell kinda teenage boy refuses a fuckin stripper??? Smh

optimusprime: i know damn well he’s not ace idk what his deal is

marvellous: idk his faithfulness is endearing

optimusprime: tru

optimusprime: whatever im about to pick him up for lunch, ill figure somthin out to cheer him up

marvellous: 👀

acuteangle: 👀

optimusprime: dont look at me like that

marvellous: bite me 

acuteangle: i think he’d rather bite vance whoops

optimusprime: …ur not wrong

Taylor: Shut the hell up and go

optimusprime: ;)

[optimusprime is offline]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo i meant to update this way sooner but i didnt have wifi all summer so here this is now,, 
> 
> enjoy?


End file.
